What a difference 24 hours makes great lyrics to a song made famous by one of the late and ever so great blues singers of all time.24 little hour's had any one said to me just yesterday that all the tears I have cried over the past few years were going to be but a memory I'd thought them nut's! Looking back to yesterday morning after waking up feeling so alone and feeling the the bitter pain of loneliness I would have never thought by night fall I would have been given the answer to a heart felt prayer on letting go.
Yet that is what happened with great joy in my heart and not to mention this all came with a sigh of relief for over half of my life I have tried to get over a great love with countless hours of prayer and tears I was finally given the answer to my prayer. I know many of you are a bit confused after all why would any one ask in prayer to let go of love the one thing we all want is to be in love and to be loved.
I couldn't agree with any of you more there is no greater feeling than being in love and being loved unless the other party doesn't feel as strongly as you do then it's a very lonely ride and that is where I have found myself on a lonely ride down a one way street going no where! I had to learn to let this go but I just didn't know how or if I was even strong enough to just walk away I often wondered how others who found themselves in this situation did it.
It's never easy giving up a part of your childhood and that is what I had to learn to do to let go of a part of me I have loved this soul for so long I didn't know how I was going to let them go to just set them free so that I could be free to love again! I have been a prisoner of my own heart for so long that I didn't know how else to live and that's no life it definitely was not living and more importantly it's not how "God wanted me to be living. So how was I going to learn to let go and let "God take control of this situation?
This has been a very rough ride one not meant for the faint of heart and one I am sure that "God only gives to those he knows won't break under the pressure when I mean break I mean spiritually physically emotionally and mentally. For any one going through this kind of trial it takes a toll on every fiber of your being but I am here to stand as a witness to you that if you can survive this the rewards will be that much sweeter in the end and yes there is an end to it all.
24 hours ago I was in an emotional prison trying to figure out how I was going to let go and move on I had no clue how I would even go about it let alone go through it. Through tears I spent the morning in conversation with the Lord asking him how to let go and wondering and asking if I was even strong enough to do so I had my doubts and I won't kid myself I am still so unsure of the steps that lay ahead of me the very ones I will have to take in order to heal a broken heart I always wondered how one heals a broken heart "I write this with a sweet smile on my face".
After spending an emotional day with the Lord and trying in vain to get my thoughts and emotions under-control I finally gave way to reading and jumping back and forth on one web page to another only to find myself getting no where fast! Feeling quite spent I saw a stack of magazines laying beside me I started to go through them I came across an article in a church magazine and I started to read it before I knew it I was reading another article until I came across one that was written just for me or at least that's how it seemed.
"The Best is yet to be" the title alone garbed at my heart strings as I proceeded to read I could feel the weight of the day lifting off of mt shoulders the more I read the lighter I felt both emotionally as well as spiritually "God was using this article to get through to me to hep me let go to heal the key he was using was this article and it was the key to setting me free.
What struck me was the key points the writer was making on the past and the future faith and the past! Simple phrases that were going to hit a home run with me these words "Faith Points to the future" and "The past is to be learned from not lived in" what powerful words that I truly did understand them as the writer went on to use the parable from the old testament of "Lot's wife" after Lot and his family fled the city as directed by the "Lord "Lot's wife looked back after being counseled not to do so after going against "Gods advice she in turn was turned to a pillar of salt!
Looking back mourning for the what if's and what could have been leaves only bitterness in it's wake! Just like adding to much salt to flavor one's food can ruin it to the point of not being fit to consume. It was right then and there that a light went off that's how I have been living my life in the past in the what if world of what could have been if only! It has only taken me half of my life to see this good thing I'm a quick study!
What I learned was not only was I allowing my self to live in the past but I wasn't trusting "God enough to let him bless me with the best to trust "God enough to know that he has better things in store for me that I was only holding me back by not taking a step into my future by taking a leap of faith! I had never thought about it like that before but then again I wasn't ready to really let go and let "God take control of the situation I wouldn't have listened because I wasn't ready to hear!
After reading this I realized or I should say "God impressed upon my heart that by my living in the past I wasn't allowing that one very special soul he has in store for me find and love me the way I deserve to be loved that I was holding them at bay while I mourned for the what if's! Yikes what an eye opener this article was turning out to be and it was just what the doctor ordered how do you heal a broken heart? Stop living in the past and walk into he future by taking that leap of faith more importantly trust "God enough to let him bless you with the finest and not just the best.
As for my childhood sweetheart I am finally able to set us free I will have moments of weakness I'm only human and I know that will be a tool that the adversary will try to use to bend me to his will knowing this makes me all that more stronger and determined to walk into my future a future that I am excited about couldn't say that 24 hour's ago I am finally ready to love again to really be loved definitely looking forward to a new beginning a brighter tomorrow.
This must be how prisoners feel when they are finally released having the weight of the world lifted off of my shoulders after carrying it around for so long feels liberating I definitely have a lighter heart I can finally breath something I haven't done in a very long time as peace engulfs every fiber of my soul I have been given a beautiful gift an answer to a prayer "24 hour's what a difference a day makes 24 little hour's!
I will look back only with fondness great memories were made but I don't live there I live here in the here and now! I will take the lessons learned to build a better tomorrow for myself and any one else that comes into my life. The future is looking brighter and I am really not sad about finally being able to close the door on the past and I am now ready to say hello to my future ready or not here I come..............
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Writer: Victoria E. Miera
Photo Courtesy of Michael Escobedo
Do not copy or use with out proper credits.
